I need to feel needed

maybe its the woman in me that I try to avoid at all costs, but I just need to care for someone...I need someone to care enough about me that it matters whether or not I care about them. I don't know how to express it. I can feel it there under the surface. It's like what I'd imagine it feels like to be a bomb that's about to explode. I will explode eventually and I hope that I don't survive to see the mess that I leave behind.